pried!

I pry again. I can't help it.

We went to Martee's bday last saturday held at Galleria. I was stoic, not mingling with his relatives. I might have gathered impressions already but what the heck, I was trying to stop from talking because I might be liable again of being a "know-it-all-person." As what D, always implies to me.

Olive called me, we had our drinking session. Im beginning to be an alcoholic. Then, Jimmy,Olive, Obet and me went to Sarah's because beer was out-of-stock in the nearby stores.

D arrived at 2:00 am, his cellphone was dead bat. I checked on his phone. They are texting again. After D told me that he stopped texting her. C was in village A, she's getting near him. He dropped by when C arrived and left. But, C was telling him to come back, even calling him on the phone in the wee hours of the morning.

I was violent again, hitting him, slapping him, throwing things, etc. D woke up. He saw our frights and almost wept. D wept, he was so sorry for his son seeing us in that state of violence. I was kicked, slapped in the face using his slippers, hit on the head.

I felt I was betrayed. He promised he will stop seeing her and he told me that they don't text anymore. Lies....

God, do I deserve this? Probably yes, because I was the first to hit him. But no, I felt I am betrayed agaid.

We passified in the afternoon, but dinner time, I cannot control my emotions anymore. The cheating came to my mind again and again. If you are not in a relationship anymore, why see her again? I was nagging him when he was eating, I didn't stop when he told me to stop. He threw his plate with food in it. He was so mad, he said, "I don't deserve this treatment."

What about me? Do I deserve to be cheated on and wait until he realized his mistakes? This has been repeated.

But, I know I also need to change my outlook and my principles if I really want to keep my family.

I'm soooooo miserable.

By the way, the plate costs P500.