For the past months, I have been busy blogging about my miserable spouse and life. I'm slowly going back to my own circle. Hopefully, I can fully recover and move on.
P is my eldest son. he was a shaken and battered infant. he was also a colic and cry baby. I cannot handle his late night cries. It made me more depress and sometimes hard to P. Post-natal depression lead me into it and also, my spouse was still having gimmicks during those times that he sometimes left me alone in taking care of my baby.
I was a young and an irresponsible mother. I still have my guilts regarding the things that i did to P. It's not always black and blue naman. Poor baby. It always comes back. Now, I'm paying back the things that I did to him.
His condition stresses me a lot. Grabe, walang usapang matino pag pinagsasabihan mo. Laging galit at pasigaw. Nakakapagod. But I know, P is a good and polite boy. He just cannot control his brain when his angst starts to attack. His attitude and behavior are killing me when he is provoke. Pati mga bayarin. Gusto kong ipatutor pero ayaw ni D at kulang ang pera ko sa theraphy pa lang.
Napapagod na akong walang pera. Gusto ko ng maraming pera para maibigay ko lahat ng treatment para sa anak ko. I have to do it. Feeling ko ako ang may kasalanan kung bakit siya may ADHD. I told the his development doctor about it. Hindi naman daw reason yon.
Oh life....
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